Feeling Like a Self-Concious Preteen 23/31 #sol17

My heart is pounding. I’m not the nervous type except on the very first day on the very first moments of something new. Something new where the other people already know each other and I won’t know anyone. I never had to switch schools growing up, so I have only experienced this feeling with extra curricular activities.

I usually get over it in less than ten minutes, yet for those ten minutes and the day or so leading up to this new experience, my heart beats so rapidly and I feel like a totally self-conscious middle school girl again.

What is it that I’m nervous about this time? Fit 4 Moms. Stroller Strides. I just signed up to begin their workout classes next Monday. Am I mostly nervous about my seven-week postpartum body being able to handle it? A little bit. Am I nervous that baby will just cry and want to be fed the whole time or right at the beginning when I will want to just melt in to the crowd? Yes. Am I nervous that I won’t fit in? That I am not able to hang with the stay at home mom crowd since I’m only joining ranks for less than seven months? So much so! I’ve never really been into sweating and people rave about what a great work out it is. Am I going to want to cry and whine to my parents again because its too hard and I’m a spoiled brat when pushed to her limits? God, I hope not!

Luckily I don’t break out in hives or sweat professedly, but my heart is still racing at the thought. Maybe I am more afraid that I won’t meet people to hang out with outside of the class. Maybe my fear has less to do with the level of exercise and has more to do with wondering if anyone will want to be my friend! It’s been a while since I’ve tried to make new friends and as adults, it sometimes feels scarier than dating (at least from my memory of it!). And to top of my anxieties, the first class is a themed come dressed in 80’s gear class! Can we say intimidating?! Fun, for sure, yet intimidating! Now to figure out if I will wear a side ponytail and call it good for my day one first impression or if I will spend my weekend searching for a leotard and leg warmers…