The Days I Became a Mother

Photo cred: Abeille Photography

I became a mother when I heard your heart beat & felt your hiccups.
When I had to check your breath on the nights you actually slept more than four hours in a row.
When I giggled with you as you discovered the world as you see it.
When all I wanted was one more kiss, one more hug, one more "Mommy, I love you."

I became a mother when I felt jealous every time you wanted Daddy over me.
When my arms were sore each Saturday from lifting you up more than usual.
When I didn't want you to cry it out.
When I wanted you to cry it out a bit.

I became a mother when I cried because I wanted to just go back to work already.
When I just wanted to be a stay at home mom.
When you looked at me and asked, "Can I read you a book, Mommy?" and pride welled up and spilled over inside.
When you put all the dollies at preschool on potties and I bragged about it to all my friends.

I became a mother when I had to stop watching the news on TV since I inevitably cry with each story of loss because that person has a mother too.
When I longed for my old self, free to do as I please.
When I couldn't fathom life without you and would do anything to protect you.
When I became an oxymoron; Hippie, yet traditional. Strict, yet permissive. But, loving, always loving.

I became a mother when I understood my own mother in ways I never thought possible.
When I understood the tired eyes and loving arms of my own mother.
When I realized there is never the right way to parent; never the only way to be happy.
When I couldn't wait to see you grow another day older, yet I wanted to keep you young forever too.

I became a mother.
I am your mother.
Forever.
Always.
And I love you the whole wide world.

Mothers Day Throwback. Ali (Alison), Ben (BJ), & Joyce (Mom)

*Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers.